DEEPER THAN BEAUTY BY: ARTEMIS DELMAR

Before I share one of  the best writings I came across in a long time, I just wanted to tell you all that I came across ARTEMIS DELMAR thanks to one of my best friends and I love her blog so much. Everyone should check out her work. Her words can be very inspiring! Hope you all take from it the way I did....


Originally I wanted to compare beautiful women and dating to the starting five of a basketball team. Why? As the starting five there is more exposure to fatigue and injury while the benchwarmers (me) get to observe the game from the sidelines waiting for the one moment that puts you in the game. In the wonderful world of dating all you need is one moment, while beautiful women (as the starting 5) remain in the game.

I have been toying around with this idea of beauty, beautiful women and our ideas about what it means to be beautiful. Then, I saw a study that concluded beautiful people; men and women, have a harder time maintaining relationships. Then I realized that I was on the right track, but I am going to scratch the basketball reference from hereon in.

Beauty is a superficial construct of society.

We have conditioned ourselves to conform to these artificial standards.

From the runway to the big screen the images before us constantly makes us self-conscious about how we look.

So we develop insecurities as we look at ourselves and try to change our appearance to conform.  

I think about my beautiful friends and I think about how many men they have gone through and the reality is that they are no happier in their beauty than you and I are in our simplicity. The only difference is that they may get a few more free drinks than the rest of us or not (this is why you always need beautiful friends because when they get a free drink so does their friend). I have seen them sway in their beauty and falter in it as well. Just because you are beautiful does not mean that the relationship will be better. In reality, it may be harder to maintain.
Relationships are a lot of work and take a sincere effort to sustain, but when the only thing holding you together is physical attraction that cannot flourish into a relationship.
Relationships must go beyond the surface in order to develop. And beyond the surface—beauty fades. As time goes on being beautiful can’t make up for a lack of personality, goals, aspiration or passion. Attraction is the initial reaction igniting the interest of the opposite sex, and most of that is physical but the rest comes from personality and compatibility. I don’t think of myself as beautiful—cute, yes but I am not the filtered standard of beauty and I don’t even wear make-up just the occasional lipstick.
There is this misconception that it’s somehow easier when you’re beautiful, but it’s not. Beauty is only skin deep. It’s only easier when you work on yourself as a person. When you learn to stand in the mirror and embrace the flaws as unique personal trends. When you stop trying to conform to these artificially inflated standards of beauty that are designed to make you feel like less of a woman and embrace the woman that you are.
Take back what it means to be beautiful twist it around and make it in to your own standard.

(You can contact her at dmarr85@yahoo.com and check out her blog at https://artemisdelmar.wordpress.com/ .)



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